Yana da gidan sinima, Aga mai ƙofofi takwas, rufin fata, ido mai gefen zinare, murhu a buɗe, da kuma allon talabijin da suka fashe a bango. Marubutanmu suna ziyartar babban mai haske a bakin tekun Tafkin Awe.
Dare ne mai haske a gefen kyawawan gefen Loch Awe, a cikin zurfin tsaunukan Scotland, kuma wani abu yana haskakawa a bayan bishiyoyi. A kan wata hanyar ƙasa mai lanƙwasa, bayan kadada na bishiyoyi masu kyau, mun isa wani fili inda tarin launin toka mai kauri suka fito daga cikin shimfidar wuri kamar duwatsu, suna walƙiya a cikin haske tare da gefensu masu kauri, kamar an sassaka su daga wani ma'adinai mai lu'ulu'u.
"An lulluɓe shi da allon talabijin da ya lalace," in ji Merrikel, mai ginin ɗaya daga cikin gidajen sarauta mafi ban mamaki da aka gina a Argyll tun shekarun 1600. "Mun yi tunanin amfani da zanen gado na kore don sanya ginin ya yi kama da wani mutum mai kama da ƙauye sanye da tweed a tsaye a kan tudu. Amma sai muka gano yadda abokin cinikinmu yake ƙin TV, don haka wannan kayan ya yi masa kyau."
Daga nesa, yana kama da dutse, ko Harlem, kamar yadda suke kiransa a nan. Amma yayin da kake kusantar wannan abu mai launin toka mai kama da juna, bangonsa an rufe shi da kauri tubalan gilashi da aka sake yin amfani da su daga tsoffin allon bututun hasken cathode. Da alama an haƙo shi ne daga wani yanki na e-waste geologic na gaba, wani wuri mai daraja daga zamanin Anthropocene.
Wannan yana ɗaya daga cikin abubuwa masu ban mamaki da yawa game da gidan mai murabba'in mita 650, wanda aka tsara don tarihin rayuwar abokan cinikin David da Margaret, waɗanda ke kula da iyali mai 'ya'ya shida da jikoki shida. "Zai iya zama kamar jin daɗi a sami gida mai girman haka," in ji mai ba da shawara kan harkokin kuɗi David, wanda ya nuna mini ɗakunan kwana bakwai masu ɗakunan kwana, ɗaya daga cikinsu an tsara shi azaman ɗakin kwana na jikoki tare da gadaje takwas masu hawa biyu. "Amma muna cika shi akai-akai."
Kamar yawancin gidajen sarauta, an ɗauki lokaci mai tsawo ana gina su. Ma'auratan, waɗanda suka zauna a ƙauyen Quarier kusa da Glasgow tsawon shekaru da yawa, sun sayi wurin da ya kai hekta 40 (kadada 100) a shekarar 2007 akan £250,000 bayan sun gan shi a wani ƙarin fili a wata jarida ta gida. Wannan tsohon filin Hukumar Kula da Gandun Daji ne tare da izinin gina bukka. "Sun zo wurina da hoton wani babban gidan sarauta," in ji Kerr. "Suna son gida mai faɗin ƙafa 12,000 tare da babban ginshiki na biki da ɗaki don bishiyar Kirsimeti mai tsawon ƙafa 18. Dole ne ya kasance mai daidaito."
Aikin Kerr, Denizen Works, ba shine wuri na farko da za ku nemi sabon gidan baron ba. Amma abokai biyu sun ba shi shawarar, bisa ga gidan zamani da ya tsara wa iyayensa a tsibirin Tire a Hebrides. Jerin ɗakunan da aka gina a kan tarkacen gona sun lashe kyautar Grand Designs Home of the Year a shekarar 2014. "Mun fara da magana game da tarihin gine-ginen Scotland," in ji Kerr, "daga ɗakunan ƙarfe na ƙarfe [busassun gidaje na dutse] da hasumiyoyin tsaro zuwa Baron Pyle da Charles Rennie Mackintosh. Shekaru takwas bayan haka sun sami gidan da ba shi da bambanci, rabin girmansa, babu ginshiki."
Zuwan ba zato ba tsammani ne, amma ginin yana nuna wani irin yanayi na tsaunuka masu ƙarfi wanda ke jin kamar an yi shi da wurin. Yana tsaye a kan wani tafki mai ƙarfin tsaro, kamar wani katafaren sansanin soja, kamar a shirye yake ya korar ƙabilar 'yan fashi. Daga yamma, za ku iya ganin sautin hasumiyar, a cikin siffar wani babban hasumiya mai tsawon mita 10 (saba wa hankali, an yi masa ado da zauren sinima), da ƙari mai yawa a cikin ramukan taga da ƙofofi masu zurfi. Akwai alamu da yawa na katangar gidan sarauta a bango.
Sashen ciki na yankewar, wanda aka yanke shi daidai da ƙwanƙwasa, an wakilta shi da ƙananan guntun gilashi, kamar yana fallasa abin da ke cikinsa mai laushi. Duk da cewa an gina shi ne daga firam ɗin katako da aka riga aka shirya sannan aka naɗe shi da tubalan cinder, Kerr ya bayyana siffar a matsayin "an sassaka shi daga tubalan mai ƙarfi", yana ambaton mai zane na Basque Eduardo Chillida, wanda sassaka-guntun marmara masu siffar cubic, waɗanda sassaka ne, suka ba da wahayi. An gan shi daga kudu, gidan ƙaramin gida ne da aka sanya a cikin shimfidar wuri, tare da ɗakunan kwana kusa da gefen dama, inda akwai gadajen reshe ko ƙananan tafkuna don tace ruwan shara daga tankunan septic.
Ginin yana kewaye da shi da wayo kusan ba a iya gane shi ba, amma wasu har yanzu suna cikin mamaki. Lokacin da aka fara buga hotonsa a kafofin watsa labarai na gida, masu karatu ba su ja da baya ba. "Yana kama da wawa. Yana da ruɗani kuma yana da ban tsoro," in ji ɗaya daga cikinsu. "Duk suna kama da bangon Atlantic a 1944," in ji wani. "Ina son gine-ginen zamani," in ji ɗaya daga cikinsu a wani rukunin Facebook na gida, "amma yana kama da wani abu da ƙaramin ɗana ya ƙirƙira a Minecraft."
Cole bai yi kasa a gwiwa ba. "Ya haifar da muhawara mai kyau, wanda abu ne mai kyau," in ji shi, ya kara da cewa gidan Tyree ya fara haifar da irin wannan martani. David ya yarda: "Ba mu tsara shi don burge wasu mutane ba. Wannan shine abin da muke so."
Daɗin su tabbas yana da wani irin dandano, kamar yadda aka nuna a ciki. Baya ga ƙiyayyar da suke yi wa talabijin, ma'auratan sun kuma raina ɗakin girkin da aka cika da kayan aiki. A cikin babban ɗakin girkin, babu komai sai wani babban Aga mai ƙofofi takwas da aka sanya a jikin bangon ƙarfe mai goge, teburin tebur, da kuma kabad ɗin abinci mai rufi da azurfa. Abubuwan aiki - wurin wanka, na'urar wanke-wanke, allon gefe - an rufe su a cikin ƙaramin ɗakin girki a gefe ɗaya, kuma firiji mai firiji yana nan gaba ɗaya a ɗakin amfani da wutar lantarki a ɗayan gefen gidan. Aƙalla, madara don kofi yana da amfani don ƙirga matakai.
A tsakiyar gidan akwai babban zauren tsakiya mai tsayin kusan mita shida. Wannan wani fili ne na wasan kwaikwayo wanda bangonsa cike yake da tagogi marasa tsari waɗanda ke ba da damar kallon dandamalin da ke sama, gami da ƙaramin rubutu mai girman yaro. "Yara suna son gudu," in ji David, yana ƙara da cewa matakala biyu na gidan suna ƙirƙirar wani irin tafiya mai zagaye.
A takaice, babban dalilin da ya sa ɗakin yake da girma shine don ɗaukar babban bishiyar Kirsimeti da ake yankewa daga daji kowace shekara kuma a sanya shi a cikin rami a ƙasa (nan ba da jimawa ba za a rufe shi da murfin ramin tagulla mai ado). Ƙofofi masu zagaye a cikin rufin, waɗanda aka yi wa ado da ganyen zinare, suna fitar da haske mai ɗumi zuwa babban ɗakin, yayin da bangon ke rufe da filastik mai laushi gauraye da ƙwayoyin zinare na mica don yin haske mai sauƙi.
Bene-bene na simintin da aka goge suna ɗauke da ƙananan gutsuttsuran madubi waɗanda, ko da a ranakun da ke cikin duhu, suna kawo hasken bangon waje cikin ciki. Wannan kyakkyawan gabatarwa ne ga ɗakin da ya fi haske da har yanzu ba a sake masa ado ba: wurin wanki na whiskey, mashaya mai faɗi da aka lulluɓe da tagulla mai haske. "Rosebank ita ce abin da na fi so," in ji David, yana magana game da masana'antar malt ta ƙasa da ƙasa wadda aka rufe a shekarar 1993 (kodayake za a sake buɗewa a shekara mai zuwa). "Abin da ke burge ni shi ne cewa ga kowace kwalba da na sha, akwai kwalba ɗaya da ta rage a duniya."
Ɗanɗanon ma'auratan ya shafi kayan daki. Wasu daga cikin waɗannan ɗakunan an tsara su ne musamman bisa ga ayyukan fasaha da ƙungiyar Southern Guild ta ba da umarni, wani gidan kayan tarihi na zane-zane da ke Cape Town, Afirka ta Kudu. Misali, dole ne a haɗa babban ɗakin cin abinci mai ganga da tebur mai baƙi mai tsawon mita huɗu da ke kallon tafkin. Yana da haske da wani kyakkyawan chandelier baƙi da launin toka mai tsayi tare da dogayen sanduna masu motsi, kamar takuba ko ƙaho, waɗanda ake samu a cikin ɗakunan wani gidan sarauta mai daraja.
Hakazalika, an tsara falon a kusa da babban kujera mai siffar L wadda ba ta fuskantar talabijin ba amma tana fuskantar babban murhu a buɗe, ɗaya daga cikin huɗu a gidan. Ana iya samun wani murhu a waje, yana ƙirƙirar wani kusurwa mai daɗi a farfajiyar ƙasa, mai inuwa kaɗan don ku iya ɗumi yayin kallon yanayin "bushewar" tafkin.
Bandakunan suna ci gaba da kasancewa cikin jigon jan ƙarfe mai gogewa, ciki har da ɗaya mai baho biyu kusa da juna - soyayya amma galibi jikoki suna jin daɗinsu waɗanda ke son yin wasa ta hanyar kallon yadda suke kallon rufin jan ƙarfe mai madubi. Akwai ƙarin salon tarihin rayuwa a cikin ƙananan wuraren zama a cikin gidan, waɗanda aka lulluɓe da fata mai launin shunayya daga masana'antar tabar Muirhead (mai samar da fata ga House of Lords and Concord).
Fatar ta kai har zuwa rufin ɗakin karatu, inda littattafai suka haɗa da littafin Donald Trump mai suna How to Get Rich da kuma littafin Winnie the Pooh mai suna Return to the Hundred Acre Wood, wanda aka sanya wa suna bayan gidan. Amma duk ba haka abin yake ba. Bayan an danna bayan littafin, a cikin wani lokaci na ba'a da Scooby-Doo ya yi, sai aka juya dukkan akwatin littattafai, aka ga wani kabad da aka ɓoye a bayansa.
A wata ma'ana, wannan ya taƙaita dukkan aikin: gidan wani yanayi ne na musamman na abokin ciniki, yana siffanta nauyin tsayin da ke waje da kuma ɓoye nishaɗin barkwanci, ɓarna da ɓarna a ciki. Yi ƙoƙarin kada ka ɓace a kan hanyarka ta zuwa firiji.