Mazuva ano, zvinoita sekunge chero ani zvake ane katsika kekuda chimwe chinhu ari kusiya mazwi ekuti "kink" uye "fetish."
"Chokwadi ndinofarira ice cream," vamwe vangadaro mushure mekunwa madhizeti emukaka akasiyana-siyana.
Ndosaka takagadzira gwara rino rinotsanangura nezvemakuhwa nemakuhwa. Pazasi, ramba uchiverenga kuti uwane tsananguro yekuti chii chinonzi kink uye chii chinonzi fetish—uye ruzivo rwekuti ungaongorora sei makuhwa nemakuhwa anogona kuitika.
Kunyepa chinhu chipi zvacho chinopfuura miganhu yezvinoonekwa nevanhu se "zvepabonde" uye chiri kumutsa chishuwo chepabonde.
Nekuti chinoumba kink chinoenderana nekuti nzvimbo yako yemagariro evanhu yakajairika here kana kuti kwete, zvinoenderana zvakanyanya nezvinhu zvakasiyana-siyana, zvinosanganisira:
Saka, semuenzaniso, munhu anonyanya kuteerera mimhanzi yemuno (asingataure zvakawanda nezvenyaya yekubuda neku ...
Izvi zvinoreva kuti kana mumwe munhu akati haanzwisisike, unofanira kubvunza zvinhu chaizvo kuti uzive kuti zvinorevei. Ehe, haufanirwe kubvunza ~munhu wese~ mubvunzo wega wega.
"Zvinhu zvinonyanya kutaurwa nezvazvo zvinogona kunge zviri zvekudzvinyirira nekuzviisa pasi, kusungwa uye kushungurudza vanhu (ndizvo zvinomiririrwa nemabhii ari muBDSM)," anodaro Kenneth Play, nyanzvi yezvepabonde uye mudzidzisi wezvepabonde, wemuvambi weHacienda Villa, sangano repasi rose rine vanhu vane pabonde.
Sekureva kwenyanzvi dzezvepabonde Dr. Carol Queen wekambani yezvematoyi epabonde yeGood Vibrations, kune dzimwe tsananguro dzinogamuchirwa dzezvemasekisi.
"Parizvino, vadzidzisi vezvepabonde havawanzotsananguri kuti pabonde rinofanira kuva chikamu chepabonde," akadaro Queen. "Panzvimbo pezvo, tsananguro yakagadziridzwa inoti pabonde zvinhu zvinonyadzisa zvikuru."
Semuenzaniso, mumwe munhu ane ganda dzvuku anogona kukwanisa (uye kunakidzwa!) kuita zvepabonde nemunhu asina ganda dzvuku, akadaro. "Asi ganda dzvuku richiri rakakosha uye rinotibvumira kuona zvinonyadzisira nenzira ine simba kupfuura payakanga isipo," akatsanangura.
Tyler Sparks, mudzidzisi wezvepabonde uye muvambi weOrganic Loven, imwe yezvitoro zvikuru zvepamhepo zveBIPOC zvinotengesa zvinhu zvepabonde, anoti musiyano uyu dzimwe nguva unotsanangurwa semusiyano uripo pakati pezvinodiwa (zvidhori) nezvido (zvidhori).
“Mumwe munhu akaona kuti kupfeka shangu refu panguva yebonde kwaifadza,” akadaro. “Asi avo vanoda kupfeka shangu refu panguva yebonde kuti vanzwe kudanana vane shangu refu dzepabonde.”
Dzimwe nguva musiyano uyu unotsanangurwa semusiyano uripo pakati pekumutswa zvakananga nekuita zvepabonde, nzvimbo, kana simba (kink) uye kumutswa zvakananga nechinhu, chinhu, kana nhengo yemuviri isiri yenhengo dzepabonde (fetish).
Kana uri kuedza kuona kana chimwe chinhu chiri chinyadzi kana kuti chifeve, ungazvibvunza mimwe mibvunzo:
Zvechokwadi. Pamwe une zvinhu zvisina kujairika uye pabonde. Kana zvese zviri zviviri. Unogona kunge uine mamwe mazuva anonzwa sekunge uri munhu asina kugadzikana, uye mamwe uchinzwa sekunge uri munhu anoda kurara newe.
"Kuongorora zvese izvi kunosanganisira kuva akasununguka kune zviitiko zvepabonde, kuva akatendeseka pane zvaunonyatsokoshesa uye kuwana shanduko, dzimwe nguva kubata nenyadzi dzekusiyana nevamwe, uye kuziva kuti izvi zvinoitwa sei muhupenyu hwako uye zvepabonde nemabasa evanogona kuita muhukama hwako nevamwe," akadaro.
"Kune vamwe vanhu, mazamu avo nemanakiro avo zviri pachena," akadaro Play. "Semuenzaniso, kana muzhizha rekuyaruka kwenyu, musingakwanise kurega kutarisa tsoka dzemunhu wese akapfeka shangu, uye muchinzwa shungu kubva mukuona tsoka, muchaona kuti munoda tsoka."
Panguva imwe chete, kune vamwe, fungidziro kana chifeve chingave chimwe chinhu chavanowana nekuongorora zvinhu, zvakaita sezvinonyadzisira, mafirimu, kana mudiwa mutsva chinovaratidza zvinhu zvitsva. Paunenge uchiona zvinhu zvitsva, unowana marudzi ese ezvinhu nezvezvaunoda nezvausingade, akadaro.
Kana uri muboka rekupedzisira uye uchida kudzidza zvakawanda nezvemaitiro ako echikadzi netsika dzechikadzi, mazano aya achakubatsira.
"Pane ongororo yemahara online, inonzi BDSM test, iyo inogona kukubatsira kudzidza zvakawanda nezvematambudziko aunofarira," anodaro Sparks. "Inzvimbo yakanaka yekutanga."
Isa maitiro akasiyana-siyana, marongero, nzvimbo, uye zvinhu murondedzero yemakoramu zvichibva pane zvaunofarira kuedza, uye runyorwa rwekuti "hongu-kwete-pamwe" runogona kukubatsira kuona zvinhu zvinofadza muviri wako.
Kune runyorwa rwakasiyana-siyana rwekuti Ehe-Kwete-Zvichida paInternet. Asi kuti uzive zvausingawanzoita, zvakanaka kuva nerumwe rune bhangi pazasi, senge urwu rwunobva kuBex Talks.
"Sezvakaitika kune chero chiitiko chevanhu, zvinhu nemamiriro ezvinhu zvinochinja," akadaro. "Dzimwe nguva zvinhu zvinokufadza mumakore ako ekuma20 hazvina kukwezva kwakafanana. Asi sezvatinowedzera kuziva nezvemiviri yedu nezvido zvedu, nekuti vanhu vanoda kuziva, tinotsvaga zviitiko zvakasiyana."
Kubva pamavhidhiyo ezvinonyadzisira kusvika pakunyora zvinonyadzisira, maforamu epamhepo kusvika pamapuratifomu ekukurukurirana, internet yakazara nemikana yekudzidza zvakawanda nezvezvinonyadzisira zvako.
"Shanyira webhusaiti yezvepabonde, yakadai seRoyal Fetish Films, kuti uwane mukana wekuona upombwe hwako huchiitwa," anodaro. "Imwe webhusaiti yezvepabonde iFetLife, webhusaiti yezvepabonde yezvepabonde. Ikoko uchawana vanhu vakawanda vakaita sewe vari kuongorora, vane ruzivo uye/kana kurayiridzwa."
Kuburikidza nemasaiti aya, anoti, uchakwanisa kuverenga nyaya dzavo uye pamwe kubvunza mumwe wevanotungamira boka mubvunzo mumwe chete kana miviri nezvemaitiro ako kana kuti vakawana sei avo.
Kugara munzvimbo yaunogara wakagadzikana uye munzvimbo isina kugadzikana kunogona kukubatsira kunzwisisa zviri nani zvepabonde zvako uye mapfekero ako, anodaro Sparks.
"Kuziva miganhu yako pachako kunogona kukubatsira kuona zvaunoda kuongorora kwete kuti chii," anodaro.
Zvauchadzidza chaizvo zvinosiyana zvichienderana nezvinhu chaizvo zvauri kuda kuongorora. Asi chero zvakadaro: zvinofanirwa kuitwa.
"Dzidzo inofanira kutanga yasvika pane zvawakasangana nazvo, kunyanya kana zvasvika pane chero chinhu chinosanganisira kutamba nesimba zvakanyanya, kurwadziwa, kuzvidzora, kana chimwe chinhu chingaonekwa sechine njodzi," akadaro Play. Dzidzo iyi yakakosha kuchengetedza iwe nemumwe wako makachengeteka mumuviri, mupfungwa, uye mumweya.
Kuti pave nerudzi urwu rwekudzidza, anokurudzira kuhaya nyanzvi yezvepabonde—semuenzaniso, mudzidzisi wezvepabonde, nyanzvi yezvepabonde, muparidzi wezvepabonde, kana mushandi wezvepabonde.
Queen anosimbisa kuti vanhu vanoita zvepabonde vachave neruzivo rwakakura munzvimbo dzese dziri mbiri, zvichiita kuti vave sarudzo yakanaka yekutsvaga zvinhu zvinogona kukuvadza kana kukwezva kekutanga.
"Vanyanzvi vanogona kunge vaine ruzivo rwakawanda nezvematambudziko akasiyana-siyana, uye zviri nyore kutaura navo uye kutaurirana navo, uye zvinogona kunge zvakaita senzvimbo yekuongorora zvepabonde," anodaro.
Kana uchida kutsvaga mumwe wako, anoti zvakakosha kusarudza mumwe wako waunonzwa wakasununguka kutaura naye — uye zvinopesana.
"Kunyangwe usati watanga mitambo yebonde yakasiyana nemumwe munhu, unogona kudzidza kuti vakasununguka sei pabonde, kuti zviri nyore sei kutaurirana naye, uye kana vachiratidza maonero avo pamusoro pesarudzo dzepabonde dzevamwe kuti vaone kana vachikodzera," akadaro.
Zvakanaka kusarudza mumwe munhu anowanzo sununguka nemutauro wemuviri wako (uye mumwe munhuwo) uye anoda kushanda newe pakutsvaga ruzivo rwemuviri wako.
Pakupedzisira, hazvina basa kuti zvinhu zvaunofarira pabonde zvinoonekwa sezvinonakidza, zvekunyepedzera, kana kuti kwete! Asi tsvaga zvinokuunzira mufaro nenzira yakachengeteka, yakasununguka uye inofadza.
Gabrielle Kassel munyori wezvepabonde nehutano hwakanaka anogara kuNew York uye mudzidzisi weCrossFit Level 1. Ava munhu anofarira zvemangwanani, achiyedza mavibrators anopfuura mazana maviri, achidya, achinwa, achikwesha marasha - zvese izvi zvichiitwa nekunyora nhau. Munguva yake yekuzorora, anogona kuverenga mabhuku ekuzvibatsira uye mabhuku erudo, bench press kana pole dance. Mutevere pa Instagram.
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