I ēnei rā, te āhua nei kei te whakarērea e te hunga e hiahia ana ki tētahi mea te kupu "kink" me te "fetish" (āhua).
"He tino hiahia tōku ki te aihikirīmi," te kī pea a ētahi i muri i te kai i ngā kai reka miraka e rua.
Koia mātou i hanga ai i tēnei aratohu whakamārama mō ngā whanoke me ngā mea whakahirahira. Kei raro nei, pānuihia kia kitea ai he whakamārama mō te aha te whanoke me te aha te mea whakahirahira—me ngā māramatanga mō te tūhura i ngā whanoke me ngā mea whakahirahira pea.
Ko te kink he mea e neke atu ana i ngā rohe o te moepuku e kiia ana e te hapori he "noa", ā, e whakaoho ana hoki i te hiahia moepuku.
Nā te mea ko te āhua o te kink e whakawhirinaki ana ki te mea he noa, he kore rānei tō ao pāpori, he nui ngā āhuatanga e whakawhirinaki ana ki tēnei, tae atu ki:
Hei tauira, ko te tangata e whakarongo nui ana ki ngā waiata whenua (engari kāore e nui rawa ngā kōrero mō te ira tāne) ka kite pea i tā rātou pai ki te ira tāne hei mahi whakararuraru ira tāne. I tētahi atu taha, ko te hunga ko tā rātou waiata tino pai ko "Truffle Butter" ka whakaaro pea he mea pai tā rātou aroha ki te ira tāne.
Arā, ki te mea mai tetahi he rerekē rātou, me pātai koe i ngā taipitopito kia mōhio ai koe ki te tikanga o tēnā. Ae, kaua e pātai noa i tētahi pātai whaiaro ki tētahi atu.
"Ko ngā āhuatanga tino noa ko te mana whakahaere me te ngohengohe, te here me te sadomasochism (koinei te tikanga o ngā reta i roto i te BDSM)," te kī a Kenneth Play, he kaipahua moepuku me te kaiwhakaako moepuku, nō te kaiwhakaū o te hapori pai-moepuku o te ao o Hacienda Villa.
E ai ki te tohunga ira tangata a Tākuta Carol Queen o te kamupene taonga takaro ira tangata a Good Vibrations, he maha ngā whakamāramatanga e whakaaetia ana mō ngā mea whakaipoipo.
"I tēnei wā, kāore i te maha ngā kaiwhakaako ira tangata e whakamārama ana i ngā mahi whakahirahira hei wāhanga o te moepuku," te kī a Queen. "Engari, e kī ana tētahi whakamāramatanga hou ko ngā mahi whakahirahira he tino kaha ki ngā mahi pakiwaitara."
Hei tauira, tera pea ka taea e te tangata he aroha ki te whero te moe tahi (ā, ka pai hoki!) ki te moe tahi me te tangata kāore he whero ōna, e ai ki tāna. "Engari he mea motuhake tonu ngā whero, ā, ka taea e tātou te wheako i te pikitia pakiwaitara i tētahi ara e kaha ake ana i tō te wā kāore i reira," tana whakamārama.
E ai ki a Tyler Sparks, he kaiako pakiwaitara me te kaiwhakaū o Organic Loven, tētahi o ngā toa piripono ipurangi nui rawa atu nō te BIPOC, ko te rerekētanga i ētahi wā ka tautuhia ko te rerekētanga i waenga i ngā matea (fetishes) me ngā manakohanga (kinks).
"I kitea e tetahi he mea whakahihiri te mau i ngā rekereke teitei i te wā moepuku," tana kī. "Engari ko te hunga e hiahia ana ki te mau i ngā rekereke teitei i te wā moepuku kia pāngia ai e te hihiri, he mea whakahihiri ki a rātou te rekereke teitei."
I ētahi wā, ka tautuhia tēnei rerekētanga hei rerekētanga i waenga i te whakaohooho motuhake e tētahi mahi moepuku, tauwāhi whenua, hihiri rānei (kink) me te whakaohooho motuhake e tētahi mea, rauemi, wāhanga tinana rānei ehara i te ira tangata (fetish).
Ki te mea kei te ngana koe ki te whakatau mēnā he mea whakarihariha, he mea whakahirahira rānei tētahi mea, me pātai atu koe ki a koe anō i ētahi pātai:
Ae. He āhua rerekē, he āhua whakahirahira rānei tōu. He mea e rua rānei. Tērā pea he rā e rite ana ki te āhua rerekē, ko ētahi he rā e arohaina ana koe.
"Ko te tūhura i ngā mea e rua ko te tuwhera ki ngā mahi mōrearea pakiwaitara, te pono mō ngā mea e tino whakanuia ana e koe me te kimi huarahi hurihanga, i ētahi wā ka aro atu ki te whakama o te rerekētanga, me te mōhio ki te pānga o ēnei ki tō oranga me te tūranga o te moepuku me te hoa pea i roto i ngā whanonga," tana kī.
"Ki ētahi tāngata, he paku kitea rawatia ā rātou manaakitanga me ā rātou manaakitanga," te kī a Play. "Hei tauira, i te raumati o tō taiohitanga, ki te kore e taea e koe te kore e titiro ki ngā waewae o te hunga katoa e mau ana i ngā hū, ā, ka hiahia koe ki te kite i ngā waewae, ka mōhio noa koe he pai ki a koe ngā waewae."
I taua wā, mō ētahi atu, ko te kink, ko te fetish rānei, he mea pea ka kitea e rātou mā te tūhura i ngā mea, pērā i te porn, ngā kiriata, te hoa aroha hou rānei e whakaatu ana i a rātou ki ngā mea hou. Ina wheako koe i ngā mea hou, ka kitea e koe ngā momo mea katoa mō ngā mea e pai ana ki a koe, me ngā mea kāore e pai ki a koe, e ai ki tāna.
Mena kei roto koe i te rōpū whakamutunga, ā, e hiahia ana koe ki te ako atu mō ō āhuatanga me ō hiahia, ka āwhina ēnei tohutohu.
"He aromatawai ipurangi kore utu tēnei, e kiia nei ko te whakamātautau BDSM, hei āwhina i a koe ki te ako atu mō ngā mahi whakaipoipo e hiahia ana koe," te kī a Sparks. "He tīmatanga pai tēnei."
Tāpirihia ngā whanonga, ngā whakaritenga, ngā wāhi, me ngā taonga ki roto i tētahi rārangi pou i runga i tō hiahia ki te whakamātau, ā, mā te rārangi "āe, kāo, pea" koe e āwhina ki te tautuhi i ngā mea e whakahihiri ana i tō tinana.
He maha ngā rārangi Āe-Kāo-Pea kei runga i te Ipurangi. Engari kia mōhio ai koe ki ō āhuatanga me ō hiahia, he pai ake te whai i tētahi me te peeke kei raro, pērā i tēnei mai i Bex Talks.
"Pērā i ngā wheako tangata katoa, ka rerekē ngā mea me ngā āhuatanga," tana kī. "I ētahi wā, kāore ngā mea e whakahihiri ana i a koe i ō tau 20 e rite ana te ataahua. Engari i a tātou e mōhio haere ana ki ō tātou tinana me ō tātou hiahia, nā te mea he hiahia nui te tangata, ka rapu tātou i ngā wheako rerekē."
Mai i ngā ataata pono ki ngā tuhinga pono, ngā huihuinga ipurangi ki ngā papaaho kōrerorero, kī tonu te ipurangi i ngā whai wāhitanga ki te ako atu mō ōu hiahia me ōu hiahia.
"Haere ki tētahi pae tukutuku kare ā-roto, pērā i a Royal Fetish Films, kia whai wāhi ai koe ki te kite i tō mahi whakahihi," tana kī. "Ko tētahi atu pae whakahihi ko FetLife, he pae pāpori mō ngā mahi whakahihi me ngā mahi whakahihi. I reira ka kitea e koe he tokomaha o te hunga pērā i a koe e tūhura ana, e wheako ana, e ārahitia ana rānei."
Mā roto i ēnei pae tukutuku, e ai ki a ia, ka taea e koe te pānui i ā rātou kōrero, me te pātai atu pea ki te kaiwhakahaere rōpū i tētahi, i ētahi rānei pātai mō ōu ake āhuatanga rerekē, me pēhea rānei rātou i kite ai i ā rātou āhuatanga rerekē.
Mā te noho i roto i tō rohe whakamarie me tō rohe whakamā, ka āwhina i a koe ki te mārama ake ki tō ira tangata me ō hiahia, e ai ki a Sparks.
"Mā te mōhio ki ō ake rohe ka āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i tāu e hiahia ana ki te tūhura, ehara i te aha," tana kī.
Ka rerekē ngā mea ka akohia e koe i runga i ngā mea motuhake e hiahia ana koe ki te tūhura. Engari ahakoa pēhea: he mea nui tēnei.
"Me haere te mātauranga i mua i tō wheako, inā koa ka tae mai ki ngā mea e pā ana ki te tākaro kaha, te mamae, te pehi, tetahi atu mea rānei e kiia ana he morearea," te kī a Play. He mea nui tēnei mātauranga hei pupuri i a kōrua ko tō hoa kia haumaru i te taha tinana, i te taha hinengaro, me te taha wairua.
Mō tēnei momo ako, e taunaki ana ia kia utua he tohunga moepuku—hei tauira, he kaiwhakaako moepuku, he kaiwhakaora moepuku, he kaipahua moepuku, he kaimahi moepuku rānei.
E whakanui ana a Queen he nui ngā wheako o ngā kaimahi ira tangata i ngā wāhanga e rua, ā, he kōwhiringa pai rātou mō te tūhura i ngā āhuatanga kino pea, i ngā hiahia rānei mō te wā tuatahi.
"Tērā pea he nui ake ngā kōrero a ngā tohunga mō ngā momo āhua rerekē, ā, he māmā ake te kōrero me te whiriwhiri tahi, ā, he rite ki te wāhi taiwhanga hei tūhura i tō ira tangata," tana kī.
Ki te hiahia koe ki te tūhura tahi me tētahi hoa, e ai ki a ia he mea nui kia whiriwhiria he hoa e pai ana koe ki te kōrero ki a ia — me te rerekē hoki.
"Ahakoa i mua i tō urunga atu ki ngā momo kēmu moepuku rerekē me tētahi, ka taea e koe te ako i te pai o tō rātou noho tahi me te tangata, te ngāwari o te kōrero ki a rātou, me te whakaatu i ō rātou whakaaro mō ngā whiringa moepuku a ētahi atu hei whakatau mēnā he pai ki a rātou," tana kī.
He pai ake te whiriwhiri i tētahi hoa e pai ana ki tō reo tinana (me te rerekē hoki) ā, e hiahia ana ki te mahi tahi me koe i ngā rangahau e hiahiatia ana.
I te mutunga iho, kāore he aha mena he mea whakakatakata, he mea whakahirahira rānei ngā mea e hiahia ana koe ki te moepuku, kāore rānei! Engari tūhuratia ngā mea e hari ai koe i roto i te huarahi haumaru, wātea, me te harikoa.
He kaituhi mō te taatai ​​me te oranga tinana a Gabrielle Kassel nō Niu Ioka, ā, he kaiako CrossFit Taumata 1 hoki. Kua noho ia hei tangata ata, e whakamātautau ana i ngā wiri neke atu i te 200, e kai ana, e inu ana, e paraihe ana ki te waro — katoa i runga i te ingoa o te kairīpoata. I tōna wā waatea, ka taea e ia te pānui i ngā pukapuka āwhina-whaiaro me ngā pukapuka aroha, te pēhi pae, te kanikani pou rānei. Whāia ia i runga i a Instagram.
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